Real talk here: Before I started working with a life coach, I was always anxious. I was usually rushing around in a panic, disorganized, and completely scattered for no good reason. I honestly thought there was no other option – that this was just “how I was”.
And this was how I felt before I had kids!
As you can imagine, my journey into motherhood was full of more anxiety, panic, and lots of confusion and frustration. I was always worried I wasn’t good enough, that something would go wrong, that I would mess up my kids, and that I couldn’t get everything done that I wanted to. When I had my first child, I was so overwhelmed at being a new stay-at-home mom that I wasn’t even able to make dinner or clean the house regularly until she was about 18 months old. Thankfully, my husband was a saint and never once complained. He just let me take my time getting my bearings on this new life change until I snapped out of it and started being a minimally functioning human again.
Fast forward a few years, after I learned from a life coach some life changing tools, I found myself in my happy place – at Costco….with three kids.
Costco with kids, as you know, can be a nightmare. The older kids usually run everywhere, asking for snacks and toys, the baby is crying and trying desperately to jailbreak out of the cart, which is causing him to get his foot stuck and cry louder, I forget the almond milk, which is all the back the other direction, the cart is heavy, and turning it around over and over again to grab something I forgot is challenging to say the least. Then, if I even make it to the checkout, I have to bag all of my (large, heavy) items at my car, in the 95 degree weather while the baby screams in the car seat, and the older kids throw their snacks all over the car.
It would make the most zen parent flip their lid.
But, I didn’t. How, you ask?
I have a powerful weapon: my thoughts.
Seems like a simple concept, right? But, it takes time to change your brain to have these new thoughts and the right tools and guidance. I have been working really hard on changing the thoughts that cause my panic and rushed feelings with a coach for a while now, and recently, my brain has caught on. And I can happily say, most of the time, I automatically respond to stressful situations with a calm mind, like it’s my new default.
I have retrained my brain. This new version of me is now “how I am”.
Case in point, my brain usually panics automatically when I pass a cop on the road. You know, when the cops are just sitting there, hidden from sight, waiting to catch you speeding? Usually, I feel this warm rush of panic starting from my stomach and shooting up to the top of my head when I see a cop, even if I am not speeding. It just happens before my logical brain can catch up and I can remind it that I haven’t done anything wrong. But one day, when I was driving to my mom’s house, I saw a cop in a speed trap, and that feeling DIDN’T HAPPEN. My lower brain (or unconscious) was no longer in the habit of creating a panic response with seeing a cop. Instead, what my brain did was automatically create the thought “You know what, if I am speeding, then I deserve to get pulled over, and that’s ok.”
This is huge, people! I am a changed person and oh, does it feel amazing! Instead, the emotion that I felt when I had that thought about seeing the cop was PEACE.
Have you ever gotten pulled over by a cop and felt PEACE? That’s where I’m headed…
Back to yesterday, as we were walking into Costco, I noticed that there was some dissonance in my mind, as my new, calming thoughts were attempting to win out over my old, stressful ones. In the beginning of the trip, I had some thoughts like “this is so stressful, I don’t want to be here,” and I could feel myself starting to get panicked. So I asked myself this question, “How do you want to feel?” Well, I wanted to feel calm, I decided. And now I know this is possible. Really and truly possible.
Well, first, I worked backwards to find the thought that would bring me to feeling of calm. And that new thought was “I am so grateful to be able to afford food here and all is as it should be.” I repeated that to myself over and over the whole shopping trip, focusing on not resisting the kids’ behavior or the heavy cart, or the crying baby, and just let it all be. Instead of running on stress like usual, I used this experience as an opportunity to practice challenging my brain to think thoughts that created peace and calm instead of stress or panic. Just going to the grocery store was helping me to grow and become a better version of me because I know how to coach myself. And at the end of the trip, I felt pretty calm and had a good time with the kids!
Who needs a yoga retreat when you have food shopping?
So, let me ask you…
What are your memorized thoughts and emotions? Where does your brain automatically go in challenging situations?
Once we realize we have a choice about how we feel, we discover that we actually have control over how we think and feel. Then we have a way out of stress and panic – that just because we are in a store with kids, we don’t haveto be stressed out.
The situation is neutral, it’s our thoughts about it that make it stressful.
This is why I am so passionate about helping parents learn these tools. These ideas and tools can COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I am proof. And I can teach you.
Any amount of money is worth learning how to stop panic and stress when dealing with your kids.
Just think about – you get to decide how you show up to your kids. Do you want to be the stressed out, overwhelmed, frustrated parent? Or do you want to be a more calm, relaxed, peaceful and loving parent? Which would feel better? Who would your kids listen to and respect more?
Don’t wait any longer! Sign up for my FREE 20 minute discovery call, and we can get to work helping you be the parent and person you always wanted to be.