Being decisive


As parents, we are constantly making decisions about what is best for our kids, whether it be what or how much to do for them, how to discipline them, or simply how to move forward with child care, school choices, what activity to sign them up for or even what to feed them when they are little. We also make tons decisions for ourselves. And sometimes we can’t make a decision or when we make one, we question it over and over and then we don’t feel confident in the decision. Changing our minds wastes energy and causes us to say stuck in confusion, which are two of the last things we need as parents!

So how do we make decisions more easily and how can we feel good about the decisions we make even when other people disagree or are doing something different?

Indecision and confusion are emotions that keeps us stuck. We think we are being careful and thoughtful by thinking things through for a long time before coming to a decision, but in actuality, it only takes seconds to actually make that decision. And we’ve spent hours of our valuable energy mulling and debating, only to the question our final decision and then feel guilty and regretful if we feel we made the wrong decision, which undermines our confidence and doesn’t move us any closer to being the person we want to be.

The truth is there are no wrong decisions.

]There is just action or inaction. If you decide to move to a new house, it will be amazing because you will make it amazing, and if you decide to stay at your current house it will also be amazing. It’s all about making the mental commitment to that decision once it’s made and making the decision for the right reason.

What I mean is, don’t make a decision so you can feel better and make sure you like your reason for your decision. Let’s say you are trying to decide whether or not to get a new job. Ask yourself: Why do you want to get a new job? Are you miserable there? Do you want to feel better by leaving? Do you think leaving your job will make you happier? The truth is you could be happy with either decision, it’s all about how you think about each situation. You could be happy in your current job if you change your negative thoughts about it, and you could be happy in a new job depending on you intention in deciding to get a new job. Just decide and take action and then don’t rethink it until you have done thought work on it and have given the new decision some time. Then back yourself up in the new decision and it will increase your confidence.

Here’s how to make a decision the clean way, with no baggage:

  • Really be honest with yourself about why you are making a decision. Don’t make the change just because you want to feel better.
  • Do make sure you like the reason you are making a change. Like really like it and want it without needing it. Again doing thought work on your current situation first will help.
  • If you can do both options and not choose one, do that! For example, if you are a mom and want to work but also want to be home, see if part time work is possible, or if you want to change your career, do the new career at night and keep your day job for a while.
  • Consider all the options, not just two. Here’s a test: would I make the same decision again if I could go back in time? Like would I move to the same house, hire the same worker, take the same job all over again if I could?
  • Imagine you succeed at both decisions. Which one would you choose?
  • Imagine failure wasn’t a big deal. Imagine you aren’t afraid to fail and it is only a learning experience. What would you choose then? Failure only happens because we think of the experience as failure, but that is only one way to look at it.
  • Ask yourself what would your future self do? What would you do to move yourself closer to who you want to be? Try not to be demotivated by discomfort. Discomfort is what gets us closer to becoming our true selves.
  • What is the worse case scenario? What is the best case scenario? Often you’ll find that the worse case scenario is missing out on the best case scenario.

So get crackin’ on making those decisions and stop being in the “I don’t know.” space.

Being decisive saves us time, helps us grow, moves us to quicker and more effective action, and helps us to be more confident with every decision we make! A life coach can help talk you through your decisions and help you take that first step. A life coach will have your back in your decision making and help you to be confident you are moving forward in an effective way.

If you’re ready to start being more decisive,  schedule a free mini coaching call with me!